so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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