the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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