your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize