i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
