There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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