i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
zippers are such a cool invention
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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