He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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