just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
