I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
