What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
