Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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