Duck Duck Cougar?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We have started to decorate penises.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
