I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
