Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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