every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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