you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
