Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I think I won the penis lottery.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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