he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
