She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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