So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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