I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
