I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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