I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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