so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
