you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
