i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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