Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
