so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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