Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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