you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
