for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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