How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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