Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
