so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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