So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
