i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
