Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You're so nebulous sometimes
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
