Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize