I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
