He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize