i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
