porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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