Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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