I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
porn star boner night. come get it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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