Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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