He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
