he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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