I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
