White coat. Heels.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
