I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
