i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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