YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize