He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
