remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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