Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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