found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
