just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize