He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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