All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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