hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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