I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
