What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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