sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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