is your mom at the bar?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize