Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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