You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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